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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:29
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
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I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
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It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
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I am not young enough to know everything.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
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If you are going through hell, keep going.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
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Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Don\'t knock masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love .
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
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Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
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It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
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Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
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I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
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When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
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In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
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If a man does his best, what else is there?
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
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Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
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There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/12/(Thu) 13:31
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